I understand that you don’t want to sound common as all the other hundreds of men she matched with last week, as you’re probably tired of texting uninterested girls.
That’s why you’re scratching your head on how to catch her attention.
Maybe you’ve been advised to say something creative that engages her emotions. That worked until you found yourself with your new match, unaware of what to say next.
I know that feels frustrating; that’s why I prepared this opening post for you. Here you’ll find specific ways to start conversations with girls, as well as explanations on why those ways actually work.
Along with that, you’ll learn
What You'll Learn
That will help you once forever start exciting conversations, even if all you started so far on Tinder was your rejection count.
It's a Friday afternoon, and you decided to stay in today as you don't feel like going out. However, you don't want to give up on seeing some hot girls in your city, and so you open your Tinder app.
You start swiping, and after some time, you match with only 1-2 girls (unless you have our Matches Multiplier Guide, of course).
Now the dilemma starts.
What do I tell her?
You don't want to screw this opportunity, and thus, you start thinking about the best opener you can use to make the best possible impression ever on her.
- 1 minute passes, and you come up with an idea. Then you think it's bullshit.
- 3 minutes pass, and you come up with another idea. Then you think it's bullshit.
- 5 minute passes, and you come up with your last resort. Then you think it's bullshit.
After 10 minutes, you come up with your last resort. You drop it, and she doesn't text back.
You get angry and decide to close Tinder. After all, it doesn't work. Right?
Sorry to disappoint you, my friend. Tinder works if you know how to use it, and that's what I want to show you in a moment.
That's Not a Love Story.
This reminds me of the first time I used Tinder. I wasn’t that confident in my texting skills, but I still decided to give it a go.
So I started swiping and, after getting some matches, I started conversations with those new girls.
Since I had not much creativity, I went for the standard openers that everybody uses like:
-Hello, I’m Sal
-How are you?
As you can imagine, I didn’t get excellent success with those openers as everybody uses them.
Then I started to test various ones and see on a given number of openers, which gave me the highest conversion rates.
It seemed like science was the best way to find out what opener to use. Indeed my conversion skyrocketed once I started using statistics in my approach to dating.
Thanks to this approach, I managed to craft a series of openers that work 90%+ of the time. Some of those will be revealed in a moment; others are only visible in my 25 Hot Openers Guide.
Let’s now go on so that you can learn how to start conversations like a pro and surprise women.
Tip #1: Identify the Girl
The first thing you should do is try to understand the girls you are about to talk to. Every girl is different, meaning that each one will respond differently, even when hit by the same stimulus.
That’s why a simple opener like: ”Hey, you look cute” might create a positive response on a girl and a negative one on another.
Moreover, girls are lunatic and might change their moods from one minute to another.
However, statistics don’t lie, and trying the same openers repeatedly on a statistically significant number of women, will provide us with concrete numbers to work on.
Along my journey, I found that there are 3 types of women that you will find online:
1: The Conservative Domina
2: The Primadonna Girl
3: The Authentic Woman
The Conservative Domina
This type of girl is conservative by nature and will respond well to low-key openers usually. To succeed with her, you can say something like:
“Hello. You seem like a serious but attractive girl, and I wanted to know you better.”
[Insert Opener Pic]
Do you see it?
The Primadonna Girl
She is the free girl that does whatever she wants with her life. Usually, she’s confident and likes living “the good life.”
Those types of girls might be responsive to an opener like:
“Hey, you look like a fun girl; I hope you’re also interesting and smart.”
[Insert Opener Pic]
That will usually work.
The Authentic Woman
Those types of girls are genuine and spontaneous. Usually, they don’t like superficial things and are attracted by what is real and straightforward.
Those types of girls might respond well to an opener like: “Hey, you seem very genuine and cute. I think you are also kind-hearted. Would like to know you better :)”
[Insert Opener Pic]
Make your approach tailored-made, and you’ll see your results skyrocketing; that’s real statistics.
Tip #2: Create Mystery
Another thing to which girls respond well is a mystery.
Girls are like cats. The more you try to hide a thing from them, the more they’ll want to know it and get it.
It’s like they can’t live without discovering what’s behind a mystery. It would be best if you used this to your advantage by using an opening line to prompt them to answer back to you.
Do you know what I think of [Adjective] girls like you?
[Insert Opener Pic]
I’d also be curious about it.
rejection is an opportunity for your selection.
I love that quote because it reflects the awareness of a man that, even though had had his positive and negative experiences with women, still doesn't understand them.
Tip #3: Challenge Her
Another feature of girls is that they like to be challenged. This somehow keeps them on the edge of adventure and engaged to the man.
Some of the most attractive men out there are considered to be adventurous, challenging, and cocky if you think about it.
What if you immediately set the tone to challenge her? What do you think the implication of this is?
She’ll be much more responsive from the beginning of the interaction, of course.
How can you challenge a girl from the first text? By using this line:
“Hey! You seem interesting, but I’m not sure. Let’s make a bet. If you bore me, you’ll reveal a secret of yours; in the opposite case, I’ll do the same.
[Insert Opener Pic]
You can do this, my friend; you just need to be more ballsy. Spit them out!
If I only applied this upcoming principle I would have gotten more results with my previous matches. That’s always a must when it comes to attracting women.
Tip #4: Hint to Value
One of the most effective ways to start a conversation on Tinder is by immediately letting her know that you're a valuable man.
This can be done in many ways as there are many value signals that a man can show to a woman.
Some are confidence, honesty, social status, preselection, exciting lifestyle, financial independence, courage, and non-neediness.
How could you leverage those aspects to craft a powerful opener? Look at this example:
"I don't look for sex. That's what I've been telling my friends lately, but they don't believe me. Will you? I think so 😉
[Insert Value Pic]
Everybody looks for value, you too reading this post. You wouldn't be reading until here if you didn't think this was valuable.
Think of women as value chasers; the only difference is that they chase different types of value, like the ones I spoke about above.
Start by showing them you're somebody, and the rest will come much more quickly.
Value is what women look for in a man. Always provide value!
Tip #5: Push & Pull
Almost nobody starts conversations with the push & pull technique. Many coaches talk about this when talking about live seduction, but why not use it also with online dating?
The push and pull technique will give your women a double feeling. It will make them excited about something and afraid at the same time, just like the first time you approach a girl, jump from a reef, or try skydiving.
Those double feelings will make her go away from you and towards you at the same time.
In confusion, the girl will feel tremendously statically magnetized, a perfect spot for you to come in and take her.
Even if the technique is called push-pull, it will inevitably create a pull at the girl's end.
An example of a push-pull line in an opener is:
"You look cute, but I'm not sure if you're also interesting."
"You seem interesting as a girl. Not from your pictures but nice bio!"
[Insert Picture Here]
Those lines will make women go, "Hey!" And then "what?!".
Since they're emotional creatures, in the end, all they care about is feeling those emotions as strong as possible.
This technique will get the job done.
You learned many things about starting conversations with girls, however you’re still missing some of the most important tips. Keep reading to learn them.
Tip #6: Storytelling
Everybody is fascinated by stories. That's because our ancestors used to share them to improve the survival chances of the subsequent generation.
Storytelling indeed included stories of wild animals, survival stories, and everything common in tribes brought narratively.
Those stories engaged people's fantasies while educating them about the dangers of the outside world at the same time.
That's how many hunting, survival, and cooking techniques have been passed down to us. Since there was no paper, back in ancient times, those tribe men used to paint in walls images that told a story.
Hey Sal, why are you telling me all this boring scientific stuff? After all, I just want to get laid. Screw the ancestors!
The reason for this is that our brain is susceptible to storytelling also today, even if hundreds of thousands of years have passed since then.
This means that whenever a story is shared, the survival circuit in the brain activates, getting the listeners' immediate attention.
It's then the storyteller's job to make the story captivating enough to keep the attention going. This means you have to use an opener that makes women interested in the first moments.
What I usually do is say something like this:
"Can you keep a secret [Name]? I want to share something crazy that happened to me."
[Insert Picture Here]
As you can see, that will immediately capture women's attention.
Tip #7: Evaluate Her
Another great tip you can use, especially with hotter girls, is evaluating them.
With that, I mean dropping an opener that clarifies you’re not on the hunt for every woman, but you’re looking for something of high quality.
Moreover, you should convey that you wouldn’t care much if you lost an opportunity that didn’t completely satisfy you, gaining influence over her frame.
With your evaluation, she will feel on the spot and not as desired by all other men just because she’s hot.
That will already put you ahead of the curve and give you an edge over the unfortunate men that aren’t aware of this.
By the way, if you love your close friends, share this material with them, it will save their lives.
How can you evaluate a girl as a first opener? Try writing something like this:
“The last 3 girls I matched with were too boring. What hobbies do you have in life?”
[Insert pic here]
The basic idea you should convey is that you already got some experience with girls before and that you’re tired of certain things. That’s why you’re now looking for something else.
Think about a person that has always tried lasagne for 5 consecutive years; he would generally be more eager to try a different type of dish. That’s what you have to convey to give a positive impression.
How The Story Ended
Statistics or Chance?
In the end, I used the highest converting openers to get those girls to respond to me. However, the irony is that when I tested some other less converting openers, I got a girl to be extremely engaged to me.
The opener was a simple emoticon of a lion () and a cat ()and an equal (=) sign.
I left the equation unsolved and let her play with it. She liked the idea until we created a narrative out of it, where I was the lion, and she was the tiger.
Eventually, we went out on a date and had crazy fun together playing those parts.
That wasn’t the highest converting opener according to my statistical research; however, it brought me one of the funniest dates ever.
Does this mean I should Include other success variables in my model? I think so. That will be a topic for another class.
By saying you don't look for sex, you'll lower her psychological defenses.
Bonus Tip: Disqualify Sex
Another important thing you should start doing to get more answers, especially from hotter girls, is disqualifying sex.
This technique won’t make you perceived as a horny desperate guy (most online dating users) and will lower women’s defenses.
Indeed, they’re bombarded with messages from those type of guys, and they most likely have enough of it. That’s where their psychological defenses arise from in the first place.
How can you disqualify sex as an opener? By saying them the same thing those girls usually write on their bio: “Not looking for ONS.”
What would such an opener look like? See below:
“Hello [Name] just wanted to tell you that you seem very interesting. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not interested in ONS or just sex.”
That will be a hard pill to digest for most girls!
If you want to maximize your chances of success with women, [Insert The Realization + Quote]
I also teach this in my Integral Text Game Course, by the way.
Different girls' types will respond differently even with the same opener. In the end, use statistics but go with your gut instinct.
Now you know enough about starting conversations with girls.
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